5 crazy sabotaging myths about introverts that need to be debunked

Are you an introvert? Do you know someone who is an introvert? What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word, “Introvert”? If you’re in a relationship with an introvert, this article will help you understand them and know how to resolve conflicts easily.

Let’s try to understand some basics here (Introvert vs. Extrovert):

The first thing we need to realize is that Introversion (the state of being an introvert, a personality orientation) is a behavioural trait just as extroversion (the state of being an extrovert) is.

Simply put, introverts are more reflective and less verbal in their communication approach as compared to extroverts.

We recharge in solitude. When we speak, you can be sure that the ideas have been carefully thought about because we choose our words carefully.

Extroverts are more verbally expressive and outgoing. They recharge by speaking and mostly cannot understand why some people (introverts) cannot be like them.

In actual fact, being an introvert or an extrovert is not a definitive stand, though there are natural tendencies for a person to be either an introvert or an extrovert.

Think of it like a spectrum where an increase in introverted qualities could result in a decrease in expressing extrovert qualities or a person could consciously maintain a balance.

• Introversion is not an illness, weakness, or some state of mind you snap out of.

  It can, however, be triggered even in extroverts by negative experiences that cause trauma and modified with upbringing and self-awareness. How do I know if I’m an introvert? Find out below:

Since I am also an introvert, to a certain degree, I’m going to be a bit personal here.

1. Solitude and quiet is when we get in touch with our deepest thoughts, reflect, and decide on certain issues we deem critical.

We love being detailed about a lot of things. In many instances, it’s a great way to clear our minds. For us, the creatives, our creative juices flow, and we are plunged into a well of satisfaction we do not wish to be rescued from.

The funny thing about this is, that sometimes, there may not be any distinct reason for retreating. It’s just comfortable to do nothing but recharge. This is mostly misunderstood by many as having mood swings or being unfriendly.

However, the tendency of having mood swings or being unfriendly is easily heightened if we are not able to retreat into solitude. It feels more like too many people are “in our faces all the time,” and that could be frustrating.

Interestingly, we can enjoy solitude even in a room full of people (a classic example is daydreaming), just like a person can feel lonely in the midst of many people.

2. After we recharge, we can be typical extroverts. We are now ready to take on the world. It’s our superpower!

When all the energy has been used or the “battery” is low, we automatically reset to default “solitude” settings.

3. We are highly unlikely to call a person out from a distance, especially if they’re in a crowd or already talking to someone else.

We would usually not interrupt. Eye contact, a wave, and a smile are enough. Other than that, passing by is normal.

We communicate more than extroverts, just not verbally. Many of us like to explore many other avenues of communication, typically after critical observation. I vividly remember an incident that occurred in high school where my teacher claimed to have never heard me speak.

It’s nice working from behind the scenes, sitting and observing, taking notes, and then, after careful thought, we speak (sometimes we’re too careful, we never speak). It’s more like watching a live movie and editing the script in our heads.

4. We always have opinions on everything in life, though it may not seem like it.

We only voice it when we think it’s appropriate to do so or until we are asked. We certainly may not be the first to raise our hands to answer a question or bring up an idea at a particular time.

These myths may surprise you

People usually say, “Be careful of quiet people. You never know what they’re capable of”. I’d rather rephrase this to, “Everyone is capable of anything. It’s only that some people are easier to predict than others”.

In Twi, there is a proverb, “Aboa bi beka wo a, na efri wo ntoma mu”, which means only a person close to you has enough information to betray you”.  It does not matter whether they are introverts or extroverts.

Again, “Suro nipa na gyae saman” which means to be more frightened of humans than of ghosts.

Trying to keep it as real as possible.

1. Introverts are shy.

Anyone can be shy. Shyness, like other emotions such as bravery, happiness, and peace, is a state of the mind; emotions that last but for a short moment unless you control it.

Everyone experiences them at one point or another. Unfortunately, introverts are easily tagged with shyness, usually perceived as being more anti-social than extroverts, even when the extrovert claims they are really shy sometimes.

Read Also: 5 basic self-confidence hacks you need daily

2. Introverts do not have leadership qualities.

I won’t try to argue whether some people are born leaders. All I have to say is, What is a leader without a sense of direction, a plan, one who houses ideas and has the willpower to implement them.

If you’re an introvert, as I am, know that you’d make a great leader, if you want to. You don’t need to have everything put together, you just have to be able to start by leading yourself. If you have never thought of this yet, you probably haven’t seen yourself in that light until now. The struggles, like those of any other person, may be daunting at first, but never impossible.

Read Also: 5 essential reasons why character matters

5 essential reasons why character matters: The Amplified Version

3. Introverts do not like to be around people.

As a matter of fact, if you have read this article until now, you’d know that we like people a lot. We just prefer to have really small circles.

We try to avoid small talk, and our friendships are deep and sensitive. Like many people, once you hint at what interests us the most, especially if it’s the very first time we’re meeting, that mysterious perception you have of us is totally cleared.

We like to observe or listen more, but that does not mean we don’t like talking or being around people. We talk, a lot about anything and everything until we intermittently return to default settings.

4. Introverts do not take risks.

Introverts may tend to be more calculating and meticulous, especially when making critical decisions, but that has nothing to do with whether or not we will take the risk. Taking risks is about being confident and accepting the consequences of our actions and inactions. Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert is totally unrelated.

5. Introverts are geeks.

This one here is funny. Errmmm…… many geeks are noted to be introverts and maybe shy, but not all geeks are introverts and not all introverts are geeks. I must admit that we usually have more to say than we appear to be.

One of our strong attributes may be thinking outside the box, whether in the arts or sciences. This means a lot of reading and knowledge acquisition is done. Sometimes we may need a push to spit them out.

Read also: 6 myths about introverts to stop believing. 

Just in case you’re not sure who you are, check out this post below.

How to be the best version of yourself: 10 mind-blowing tips to master daily

We’re more like an onion. You need to peel several layers to get to the core. It takes effort, time, and maybe a few teardrops (just kidding), but once you get to know us, you’ll experience connection on a deeper level.