This Is Why Some People Are Overly Critical About You

You’ll agree that the most difficult job in this world is dealing with people….normal people, how much more overly critical folks? However, this is something that no one can do without. No man is an island and so we must deal with it.

Some people, all of us have dealt with negative stuff before, and in this part of the world where society works like a two-edged sword; seeking to know your problems, and then using it against you the next minute, telling people you go to therapy is like politely saying, you’re mad.

Sarcasm has almost become cultural and applauded by many! However, the result of those stinky words could remain clinging to one’s chest, sometimes popping up in the mind long after the laughter has subsided!

Find out after reading this article.

Read Also: Dealing with Difficult People

 

Reasons Why Some People Are Overly Critical

People could be highly critical for many different reasons, from psychological issues to external influences. Here are some typical causes and strategies for dealing with these people:

 

1. Insecurity and Low Self-Esteem

Sometimes they project their insecurities on you to feel better about themselves. Guess you’ve heard “defence mechanism”, instead of accepting and dealing with their own flaws, they deflect that unwanted attention to talk about yours. Ha!

2. Perfectionism

My friend says it’s a sickness😅. People who have incredibly high standards for themselves usually have high standards for others and they struggle to understand why people can’t seem to see things the way they see them. As a result, they may try to correct every little thing to influence the behaviours of others.

3. Lack of Emotional Intelligence

Sometimes you have to be able to read the room and other people’s emotions and with wisdom. Some people just don’t know how to give constructive feedback, and don’t even realise the impact of their words until the damage is done. This plus poor people skills is destruction!

Read Also: 5 Keys for Building Relationships that Thrive

4. Cultural and Social Factors

Hurt people hurt others. People who have experienced one form of trauma or the other, if not attended to, may unconsciously hurt others and even feel it’s normal. Likewise, people raised in environments that promote negative criticism may inflict this on others.

5. Stress and Personal Problems

People under a lot of stress may become irritable and more prone to criticism. Personal problems can lead to negative behaviours, including being overly critical. I once had a boss, a single mother, with many relationship issues (including her children). She was always stressed out and lashed out at everyone, every day, except on a few occasions where she would be more relaxed and overly nice.

 

How to Handle Overly Critical People

1. Stay Calm and Composed

Recognize that their criticism often reflects their issues rather than your worth. Maintain Emotional Distance. Try not to react emotionally, which can escalate the situation.

2. Set Boundaries

What you allow will continue, so clearly and calmly state when their criticism is unhelpful or unwelcome. You can also reduce the time spent with overly critical individuals if possible.

3. Seek Understanding

Politely ask them to explain their criticism to understand if there’s any constructive element.

Let them know how their criticism affects you, which might make them more aware of their behaviour.

4. Focus on Solutions

Shift the Conversation. An emotionally intelligent person can do this with skill, subtly.  Guide the discussion towards finding solutions rather than dwelling on faults.

Read This: Emotional Intelligence; Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

5. Develop Resilience

Build your self-esteem so that criticism has less impact on your sense of self-worth.

 

🚨I hate to break it to you, but you could also be the problem. It’s not always them.

Oh, if you’ve made it this far, you’ll know by now that you could be the problem. Don’t be too fast at pointing fingers, you know. Know that criticism isn’t necessarily bad because there are ways in which constructive criticism can make you a better person. Overly critical people act in ways that reflect their own self-image, not yours. On the other hand, if it has the potential of tearing you down, manage it wisely. Remember, relationships are golden and there’s no excuse for abuse.