How to avoid toxic people : Mental health in Ghana

If you’ve never heard this before, then you’re in for a shock. Knowledge of mental health in Ghana is not as widespread as in other parts of the world. People with mild conditions that can be cured may be treated as outcasts, scorned by society if they don’t have a strong support system. Many end up on the streets, as their condition aggravates. You encounter some people and you just know their behaviour is not normal.

You may not be able to place a finger on it, you don’t feel yourself, and the environment is stiff and choking. You MAY be dealing with a toxic person without knowing or you may just be that toxic person. If you have never met such a person, fasten your seatbelt, you’ll do so sooner or later. Let’s find out in this article.

 

Hold on, what am I even talking about?

 

What does it mean to be toxic?

A person who is toxic/narcissistic creates an environment that drives away positive energy always and it could be in the most subtle way. They have the extremes: extremely loving, too good to be true, and extremely negative and authoritative. The trick is to think you owe them for being so sweet that even when you see the red flags, you ignore them. Oh, and this intrinsic behaviour, to them is genuine, they don’t find anything wrong with it, no matter the situation. 

READ ALSO: Narcissist’s trick

Why are people toxic?

There’s no excuse whatsoever for being toxic, just excuses. People have and are going through a lot in life. As they say, “Charity begins at home”, negative emotional traits and mental health in Ghana or in any other country also begin at home. Children who have had to endure extreme hardship, abuse and neglect all on their own suffer from controlling their emotions, sometimes knowing what is wrong from what is right. If they’re not mature enough to know what to do or who to talk to, they unconsciously act up, as a defence mechanism or lose their self-worth.

This can result in deviant behaviours as well. Please, don’t be quick to judge, “hurt people hurt others”. People and situations may have taken so much from them that they feel they deserve everything good, even if it means killing other people’s joy.

Bullies are typical examples.

How do you know if a person is toxic for you?

You don’t necessarily need to take a notepad and pen to check if none of your friends is toxic, or even you. Shine your eyes! Mental health in Ghana is not a funny issue. I’m sure a particular name rings a bell in your mind right now. There are things you need to watch out for, no matter how subtle. When people repeatedly associate the person or you with certain negative traits, note them in the quiet. You may not realize them from the start, but give it time. No,  I didn’t say play detective. So, back to the matter.

Good mental health is loving yourself.

Love yourself enough to rid yourself of people who try take away your peace of mind and belittle you – Emmanuella Obeng – Koranteng

Mental health in Ghana is not a reserve for the western world. It’s real.

READ ALSO: A personal experience from a victim of abuse

Signs of a toxic person

1. They will push you to the wall and expect you not to react. If you d, they’ll play the victim and make you feel like it’s all your fault. They would make you even feel bad for breathing!
2. They always put themselves first and constantly remind you of all the things they do for you, no matter how small it is. They have quite good memories too, lol.
3. They try to cut you off from everyone who genuinely loves you, especially your family by sometimes turning you against them.
4. They never apologize because they never admit any wrongdoing. Even if they do, it’s meant to manipulate you to get something.

Controllers, abusers, and manipulative people don’t question themselves. They don’t ask themselves if the problem is them. They always say the problem is someone else. —Darlene Quimet

5. They don’t bend the rules or compromise in any way, even if it’s to your detriment, but expect you to “worship” them. They have a great sense of entitlement.

Entitlement is an expression of conditional love. Nobody is ever entitled to your love. You always have a right to protect your mental, emotional, and physical well-being by removing yourself from toxic people and circumstances. ― Dr Janice Anderson & Kiersten Anderson

6. They don’t respect your opinions, they may hear you, but they don’t listen.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too can become great. — Mark Twain

7. They take and never give. You’re like the truck they use to make themselves feel better. They offload their burdens unto you, as if yours’ are not enough, without providing support when you need them the most.

8. They thrive on breaking boundaries or standards. If you give them a mile, they’ll take ten.

9. They may be temperamental: anger issues, extreme jealousy,  can’t be happy with you in your joy, especially when they’re in their elements. They may also flur up at no apparent issues. In fact, this defies logic.

10. The funny thing is no one might believe this about him/her/ you because they’re completely different in public.

11. They’re not impressed by anything or anyone, no matter how hard you try, you’ll never match up, and they’ll clearly let you know vocally or through their actions.

So, don’t go around pointing fingers at people, exhibiting one trait or at one time does not necessarily mean a person is toxic.

They suck the life out of you, everyone and everything, with time. Toxic environments are like caged birds in a beautiful garden. More often, with time, even when the cage is opened, they almost never immediately fly out. Once they do, they’ll realize how fulfilled they can be.

How to avoid toxic people

1. Keep your distance first, so you can think straight and rewire your senses. 
2. Regularly talk to a trustworthy person, don’t keep certain things all to yourselves.
3. Set serious boundaries and do not break them at all coats. Love yourself enough to say no, and mean it. Not having their way makes them mad, but keep your stands. Get someone to keep you accountable.
4. If you don’t feel right about something, don’t ignore it. Your mental health/ peace of mind is way more important. Speak up! Talk to someone who doesn’t think you’re blowing things out of proportion, otherwise, it might be too late.
5. Don’t be easily convinced by them to do anything you don’t want to do or say, even when they get temperamental. With time, when they know you’re serious, they’ll let you be.
6. Be willing to walk away at any time. 
7. Do not let another person experience what you have been through, help save lives. Emotional death leaves you existing, not living.

READ ALSO: My boyfriend is breaking up with me because I gave him a taste of his own medicine

Why you should avoid toxic people to protect your mental health.

There’s really no better way to say them through mental health quotes. These toxic people quotes may be just the motivation you need to open your own cage and fly out.

1. “I will not allow anyone to walk in my mind with dirty feet.” – Mahatma Gandhi
2. “Real love moves freely in both directions. Don’t waste your time on anything else.” — Cheryl Strayed
3. “People inspire you, or they drain you. Pick them wisely.” — Hans F. Hasen
4. “Don’t settle for a relationship that won’t let you be yourself.” — Oprah Winfrey
5. “If they do it often, it isn’t a mistake; it’s just their behaviour.” — Dr Steve Maraboli
6. “Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings, and emotions.” — Will Smith
7. “Don’t let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out.” — Robert Tew
8. “Fire false friends as early as possible. Do it before they dig out the dream seeds you’ve planted! The earlier, the better; the quicker, the safer!” ― Israelmore Ayivor
9. “You create more space in your life when you turn your excess baggage to garbage.” ― Chinonye J. Chidolue
10. “I mean, if the relationship can’t survive the long term, why on earth would it be worth my time and energy for the short term?” – Nicholas Sparks
11. “Losing will not always amount to a loss, sometimes you have to lose those toxic relationships and bad habits to create a space for better things.” ― Gift Gugu Mona
12. “I think most people know when they’re in a toxic relationship – it requires an enormous amount of effort to keep it going, and you don’t get what you want from it.” – Joanna Coles
13. “No matter how valuable you are and your ideas, fools will certainly play both of you down, so exclude yourselves from the inflammatory environs of fools.” ― Michael Bassey Johnson
14. “It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behaviour and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.” —Daniell Koepke
15. “The hardest part of being in an emotionally abusive relationship is actually admitting you’re in one.” ― Anna Akana
16. “We teach people how to treat us.” — Dr Phil
17. “What’s broken is broken—and I’d rather remember it as it was than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.” – Margaret Mitchell
18. If someone thinks you’re being dramatic or selfish, then they obviously haven’t walked a mile in your shoes. It’s not important for you to explain yourself. You get a pass here. Don’t let anyone else try to saddle you with guilt or shame. If you need your space, take it. ― Sarah Newman

READ ALSO: 10 honest strategies on how to say no without feeling guilty

Second league of mental health quotes

1. 1. “Toxic people will pollute everything around them. Don’t hesitate. Fumigate.” ― Mandy Hale
   2. “The people in your life will either help you shake hands with yourself or they’ll teach you what you don’t want. Everyone, eventually, does one or the other. All pain transforms into learning. All love transforms to self-awareness.” ― Vironika Tugaleva
   3. “If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome.” — Michael Jordan
   4. “Cleanliness is a habit that keeps the body, mind, and environment neat, clean, and delightful and free from dirt and toxic things.” ― Amit Ray
   5. “Like arsenic, toxic people will slowly kill you. They kill your positive spirit and play with your mind and emotions. The only cure is to let them go.” —Dennisse Lisseth
   6. “As important as it is to learn how to deal with different kinds of people, truly toxic people will never be worth your time and energy – and they take a lot of each. Toxic people create unnecessary complexity, strife, and, worst of all, stress.” — Travis Bradberry
   7. “There are people who break you down by just being them. They need not do anything. Dissociate.” ― Malebo Sephodi
   8. “You cannot expect to live a positive life if you hang with negative people.” — Joel Osteen
   9. “An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you.” — Goi Nasu
   10. “Yes, the people around us can be insensitive, narcissistic, toxic, and sometimes even abusive, but it is up to us to take that energy on or let it flow through us. No one is responsible for taking away our happiness but us.” ― Aletheia Luna
   11. “I am worth more than these excuses. I am worth more than this inconsistent, unhealthy, disappointing dynamic. I am worthy of finding someone that is never going to allow us to settle into this toxic, distorted version of love.” ― Liz Newman
   12. “If a person finds negative people in his life, then he needs to mend his own nature than that of others, for his own basic grounding decides the level of acidic or toxicity surrounding him.” — Anuj Somany
   13. “Never rely on another person to make you feel whole.” – Karen Salmansohn
   14. “The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.” — Anthony Robbins
   15. “Many people get into a relationship as a way to compensate for something they lack or hate within themselves. This is a one-way ticket to a toxic relationship because it makes your love conditional – you will love your partner as long as they help you feel better about yourself.” – Mark Manson
   16. “Don’t let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out.” — Robert Tew
   17. “Don’t let toxic people sabotage your happiness, ruin your positive attitude, contaminate your mind or destroy your self-confidence. Instead, surround yourself with generous, positive, and nurturing people who will lift you up.”― Farshad Asl
   18. “Remember…Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you.” — Ziad K. Abdelnour
   19. “As you remove toxic people from your life, you free up space and emotional energy for positive, healthy relationships.” ― John Mark Green
   20. “There are only two kinds of people who can drain your energy: those you love, and those you fear. In both instances, it is you who let them in. They did not force their way into your aura, or pry their way into your reality experience.” ― Anthon St. Maarten
   21. “What’s more toxic than what they have done, think, or have said about you is how you let your mind receive it. In a world, like ours filled with so much noise and hate, what suffers the most is our minds. Know when to keep your mind shut!” ― Chinonye J. Chidolue
   22. “Poisonous relationships can alter our perception. You can spend many years thinking you’re worthless. But you’re not worthless. You’re underappreciated.” — Dr Steve Maraboli
   23. “Life is too short to hang around people who are causing you to compromise. Pulling you down. Your time is too valuable to waste with people who don’t have a dream. People that aren’t going anywhere.” – Joel Osteen

Quotes on positivity: what to do about your mental health

1. “Surround yourself with positive people who believe in your dreams, encourage your ideas, support your ambitions, and bring out the best in you.” — Roy Bennett
2. “Sometimes you don’t get closure, you just move on.” ― Karen Salmansohn
3. “Energy vampires prey on others because they are in pain, and their behaviour is a disguised cry for help. However, the important thing to remember is that you are not responsible for resolving their issues. While you can offer help to an energy vampire, it is ultimately their responsibility to sort our their struggles.” ― Aletheia Luna
4. “Look around you at the people you spend the most time with and realize that your life can’t rise any higher than your friendships.” ― Mandy Hale
5. “Don’t ever stop believing in your own transformation. It is still happening even on days you may not realize it or feel like it.” ― Lalah Delia
6. “Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.” — Nido Qubein
7. “You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles.” — C. JoyBell C.
8. “Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” — Deborah Reber
9. “Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.” — Dr Steve Maraboli
10. “Let go of negative people. They only show up to share complaints, problems, disastrous stories, fear, and judgment of others. If somebody is looking for a bin to throw all their trash into, make sure it’s not in your mind.” – Dalai Lama
11. “No matter how much you love the person, you cannot change them. You may influence them; but at the end of the day, they must decide for themselves.” — Robert E. Baines Jr.
12. “It’s very possible and very okay to forgive someone and still not want to spend time with them.” ― Karen Salmansohn
13. “The wrong person will give you less than what you’re worth but that doesn’t mean that you have to accept it.” — Sonya Parker
14. “Pay no attention to toxic words. What people say is often a reflection of themselves, not you.” ― Christian Baloga
15. “We don’t get to choose our family, but we can choose our friends. With courage, we can weed out narcissistic people. We can focus on those who do appreciate us, love us, and treat us with respect.” ― Dana Arcuri
16. “The best emotional relief is not venting our problems, that only fuels the pain. It is focusing on something else, taking control of our lives and staying away from people that keep reminding us about our problems.” ― Rodolfo Peon
17. “Forgiveness is a personal process that doesn’t depend on us having direct contact with the people who have hurt us.” ― Sharon Salzberg
18. “Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.” — Nido Qubein
19. “I found peace of mind when I walked away from small fights not worth fighting. I stopped fighting for people who gossiped about me. I stopped fighting for those who didn’t respect me. I quit worrying about those who wouldn’t value me for being me.” ― Dana Arcuri
20. “If you walked away from a toxic, negative, abusive, one-sided, dead-end low vibrational relationship or friendship — you won.” ― Lalah Delia

READ ALSO: 5 basic self-confidence hacks you need daily

Awareness of mental health in Ghana should be taken more seriously, but most importantly, we must remember that no one else is responsible for our personal growth, but us.