Sometimes there’re just some feelings we can’t describe. It’s like living in a space where there is a mix of emotions flying all over in slow motion for as long as we allow them to. It’s uncomfortable and it feels safer than facing situations head-on. These conflicting emotions usually interfere with what you believe you should do.  However, you get used to it at a point if you keep at it and it soon becomes your comfort zone.

You might just want to shout, “Action!” to snap back to reality. These feelings could be guilt, anxiety, lack of clarity, depression, or just plain indifference at just about everything. This may usually have been in the past and especially if you had the power to change things but didn’t. Other times, we beat ourselves up over situations we can’t control, even though it was never our fault in the first place.

I remember when a woman who sold locally manufactured powder asked for help because she had sold nothing by 2:00 pm. I almost gave my lunch out but for some reason, I restrained myself. The feeling of guilt was intense, I only felt better when I helped the next person in need.

Your story may be as serious as a loved one dying from a terminal disease, a failed relationship, the fear of failure, childhood trauma, or abuse. Whatever yours may be, acknowledging that you’re not perfect is a great place to start. You are not alone. Everyone is fighting a battle inside. Being at peace with your creator makes a huge difference.

Thomas Merton once said, “We are not at peace with others because we are not at peace with ourselves, and we are not at peace with ourselves because we are not at peace with God.

 

CONSIDER THESE HINTS TO FIND INNER PEACE AND STOP CONFLICTING EMOTIONS

1. Be yourself–stand out.

Sounds cliché, right? What I actually mean is to know who you are outside of friends, family, and colleagues. Who are you when you’re alone? If you don’t know, then you’ve got a real problem here. It goes beyond personality and it’s not limited to your capabilities or weaknesses. Whatever it is, accept it and seek ways to improve or manage it. Having enough knowledge about yourself makes you feel more at peace.

I know how it feels to literally stand out and how it equally feels to try so hard to blend in. Believe me. I wear glasses. I am tall, slim, and observant. It’s always been a herculean task to blend in when other “non-glasses- wearing people” of average height easily fit into the crowd. Aside from that, I’m prone to listening and of course writing than speaking. Hmmm. It could get lonely at first, but fulfilling and rewarding. It pushes you out of your comfort zone. Your gift makes room for you and introduces you to the world.

Dealing with your own conflicting emotions is hard enough. Not to talk about thinking about what people think or feel about you. Check what’s brewing inside you.

Read also: How to be the best version of yourself

2. Allowing people or situations to control your emotions is slavery.

Before we make bad decisions, we usually say, “this world, I can’t ki masef o” meaning I can’t beat myself up so much. Life is short. Let me make myself happy. I’ll deal with the consequences later. Others say, “Follow your heart”, which could lead you into big trouble. Basing your decisions entirely on emotions is too risky.

I read somewhere that, whatever takes the most of your time, enslaves you. You’ll agree with me that positive addiction is way better than a negative one. Accept that the world is not fair and that bad things happen to good people sometimes. It’s inevitable. However, you chose to allow things to get to you by the way you react to situations.

Sometimes, it’s wise to remain silent and refrain from answering all questions thrown at you. Reacting to every situation is surely one hell of an emotional rollercoaster. Other times, you’ve got to address issues by speaking up.

And then, when you commit yourself by unconsciously going overboard, you’ll have to start over, trying to manage your emotions to achieve inner peace. That. Does. Not. Make. Any. Sense. At. All.

 

3. Forgive yourself. Set yourself up for inner peace.

It seems relatively easier to forgive others than to forgive yourself. Actually, no matter what the issue is, your body and soul will always be stuck to you like a shadow, wherever you go. On the other hand, you can distance yourself or cut people out of your life if you want to. I’m not saying relationships should be taken lightly especially our support systems.

All I’m saying is that the best relationship you could ever have with others depends on the relationship you have with yourself. One of my aunts always says this with a grin, lol, “Even people die”. Free yourself of that pain, that anger, that bitterness and move on. Accept what you cannot change and work towards what you can. Allow yourself to grow stronger, better, and wiser. Give it time. You will be fine.

 

4. Take it one step at a time, reduce the buildup of conflicting emotions.

Do you want to start a business, a career, or solve a family or seemingly threatening health issue? To allay your fears or conflicting thoughts, think about the first most simple step to deal with it. You should probably make some inquiries, research, or speak to an expert.

To avoid worry or fear, journal, speak to someone you trust or a counselor. Know for sure what you’re getting yourself into. Don’t sit back and assume it can not be done or wonder “what if” your whole life. Inner peace doesn’t just jump on you.

5. Love yourself and create a positive atmosphere where you thrive.

Find your passion and cultivate it with hard work. If it’s natural for you, go for it. Dance, paint, read, write, sing….just do it and enjoy every minute of it. Make peace with yourself.

Carry that atmosphere where it’s difficult for negativity to penetrate. By doing that, you’ll create you’ll attract many like-minded people and infect others with it.

Read also: How to ignite your purpose in life: 12 sensational ingredients you were not told

 

6. Develop an attitude of gratitude.

It’s way too easy to notice the few things we lack but overlook the many blessings we enjoy daily. It’s hard, especially when society shows you a blueprint of how you should look or what you should’ve accomplished in life by a certain age. No one is perfect. Everyone else is falling apart in an aspect of life and maybe trying to make things right. “)bra ne woara b)”, meaning life is what you make it. No situation is permanent. Be grateful for your “now”, while working towards your future. Never compare yourself with others. You’ll appreciate the end when you get there.

Read also: 5 essential reasons why character matters

7. Breathe!

Society’s pressure to be strong, often makes us forget we’re human. Don’t cry. That’s how it is. Suck it up! Such is life. Get over it. Now here’s the thing.

Give yourself a break! It’s totally okay to not be okay with what may seem acceptable to everyone. If you feel hurt and need to cry, do it. Don’t hold it all in. It’s a strength to let go. Don’t shy away from it and pretend to be alright when it’s eating you up. Let it be, for a moment, and then come back to it later. You’ll realize many things you didn’t see previously. Talk about it and address that person or situation to have some sanity. Ok. What happens if you never get closure? It’s hard but, let go. It may take a while but it’s worth it. What’s ahead of you is more important.

Read also: How to find inner peace by avoiding conflicting emotions